Being nice vs Being a People-Pleaser

Do you agree that there is a fine line between these two? On this episode, Juancho and I talk about the pitfalls of people-pleasing and practical strategies to have a healthy balance between both.

This question is sent to us by (@iamsuperminaa) from our community where she asked what’s the difference between being nice and being a people pleaser? So today, we’ll discuss this and how we can be authentic and nice without falling into the trap of constantly seeking approval from others.

At first glance, being nice and being a people pleaser may seem similar, but there are notable distinctions between the two. Being nice involves showing kindness, respect, and empathy towards others in a genuine way. It's about treating others with decency and creating positive interactions. On the other hand, being 0a people pleaser goes beyond being nice. It typically involves excessively prioritizing the needs and opinions of others over your own, often at the expense of your own well-being and authenticity.

Now, let's talk about ways we can be authentic and nice without falling into the trap of people pleasing.

Tip #1: Understand your own needs and boundaries

Being authentic means being true to yourself and honoring your needs and values. Take the time to reflect on what truly matters to you and establish clear boundaries. By understanding and communicating your own limits, you can ensure that you are genuinely nice without compromising your own well-being.

Tip #2: Practice assertive communication.

Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a direct and respectful manner. It allows you to be honest and transparent while still considering the feelings of others. By using "I" statements and expressing yourself confidently, you can maintain your authenticity while still being kind and respectful.

Tip #3:  Learn to say “no” without guilt

Saying no can be challenging, especially for people pleasers. However, it is necessary to protect your time, energy, and personal boundaries. Remember, it's okay to decline requests or set limits when it aligns with your needs and values. By asserting yourself and setting boundaries, you can maintain authenticity in your interactions.

Tip #4: Embrace constructive criticism

Being authentic means being open to growth and learning. Seek feedback from trusted individuals and be receptive to constructive criticism. Embracing feedback helps you understand different perspectives and allows for personal growth while still staying true to yourself.

Tip #5: Cultivate self-confidence and self-worth

People pleasers often seek validation from others because they lack confidence in themselves. Building self-confidence and self-worth is crucial in maintaining authenticity while being nice. Celebrate your achievements, practice self-care, and surround yourself with positive influences that uplift and support you.

Being authentic and nice is not about seeking constant validation or trying to please everyone; it's about embracing your true self and treating others with kindness, empathy, and respect. By understanding your own needs, communicating assertively, setting boundaries, and nurturing self-confidence, you can be genuinely nice without compromising your authenticity.

I hope this discussion has shed light on the difference between being nice and being a people pleaser and provided valuable insights on how to be authentic and nice without sacrificing your own well-being.

From Episode 215 of Adulting with Joyce Pring: “Being nice vs Being a People-Pleaser”