Why We Went to Couple's Counseling

What are the common issues couples seek counseling for? When do we know when to seek counseling? On this episode, Juancho and I share what we’ve gone through in counseling and how it helped us navigate our marriage life tremendously.

Does counseling really work?

Identify and address potential areas of conflict: Pre-marital counseling aims to identify and address potential areas of conflict in a relationship before they become serious concerns. By exploring topics such as communication, conflict resolution, financial management, and roles in the marriage, couples can gain a better understanding of each other's expectations and address any potential sources of tension.

Establish realistic expectations: Pre-marital counseling helps couples establish realistic expectations about marriage and each other. It allows couples to discuss important topics, such as roles and responsibilities, decision-making processes, family dynamics, and plans for the future, including whether or not to have children.

Prevent future marital problems: By addressing potential areas of conflict and learning effective relationship skills, pre-marital and marriage counseling can help prevent future problems from arising. Couples gain insights into common challenges in relationships and learn strategies to navigate through them, fostering a stronger and more resilient partnership.

What are the most common issues that are talked about?

1) Past Relationships

Past relationships can have an impact on the present relationship. Pre-marital counseling often involves exploring any lingering emotional baggage from previous relationships and addressing concerns or insecurities that may arise as a result. This exploration allows couples to have open and honest conversations about their past experiences and how they may influence their current relationship dynamics.

2) Jealousy

Jealousy can be a significant source of conflict in a relationship. Pre-marital counseling provides a space for couples to discuss and understand the root causes of jealousy, which can range from low self-esteem to trust issues. By exploring the underlying emotions and triggers associated with jealousy, couples can work together to develop strategies and tools to address and manage this issue.

3) Money/finance

Financial matters are a common topic in pre-marital counseling. Couples discuss their individual financial values, attitudes, and habits, as well as their financial goals and expectations for the future. Money-related conflicts are addressed in order to establish healthy communication and decision-making processes regarding budgeting, saving, spending, and financial responsibilities within the marriage.

4) Childhood traumas

Pre-marital counseling provides a safe environment for couples to discuss any unresolved emotional wounds from their past that may resurface during conflicts. By addressing and understanding these traumas, couples can learn how to support each other and find healthier ways to navigate conflicts that may be rooted in past experiences.

4) Small things that become a fight

In pre-marital counseling, couples learn how to effectively communicate and manage these minor disagreements before they escalate. By addressing underlying emotions, practicing active listening, and learning conflict resolution skills, couples can prevent minor issues from turning into major fights.

Why is it important?

Seek counseling for whatever it is that you think you need help with. Don't be afraid that you'll be asked for help early on in your marriage. That's how it is. Life is hard, right? You both have different, backgrounds, different upbringings. It's hard. Marriage is hard. And the more that people acknowledge that, the more that it's going to be easier to be better at it. (JP)

Don’t wait for your marriage to break apart before seeking counseling. The moment that you see that there's an issue that doesn't seem to be resolved, seek for counseling already. (JT)