Updated Rulebook of First Date Red Flags
What is acceptable on a first date? Is it okay to talk about an ex? How about appearance-wise: What should we wear? What SHOULDN’T we wear? We’ve updated the rulebook of first dates for this day and age!
Before going on a first date, consider these:
1) Personal Safety.
Prioritize your personal safety and take necessary precautions. Inform a trusted friend or family member about your plans, share the details of your date, and consider meeting in a public place. Trust your instincts and be mindful of your surroundings throughout the date.
2) Expectations and Compatibility.
Reflect on your expectations and consider whether they align with those of your potential partner. Clarify your intentions and what you hope to gain from the date. Consider whether you share common interests, values, and goals to assess the potential compatibility.
3) Conversation Topics.
Give some thought to potential conversation topics to keep the date engaging and enjoyable. Consider common interests, hobbies, and current events that you can discuss. Avoid controversial or sensitive topics that might create discomfort or conflict.
4) Authenticity
and Honesty.
Be yourself and present your authentic self during the date. Honesty and genuineness contribute to building a strong foundation for any potential relationship. Avoid pretending to be someone you're not or hiding important aspects of your life.
5) Mindfulness and
Open-Mindedness.
Approach the date with an open mind and be present in the moment. Be curious and attentive to your date's interests, opinions, and experiences. Avoid making snap judgments and give yourself the opportunity to get to know the other person without preconceived notions.
Remember, each first date is unique, and it's essential to trust your instincts and make decisions that align with your comfort level. By considering these factors, you can increase the chances of having a positive and enjoyable first date experience.
“Take the pressure off yourself. We’re all adjusting to the world.”
What are the 5 major red flags on first dates?
1) Disrespectful or Controlling Behavior.
If your date displays signs of disrespect, such as being rude to you or others, belittling your opinions, or trying to control your actions, it's a significant red flag. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, so any indication of controlling behavior should be taken seriously.
2) Lack of Communication.
Pay attention to how your date communicates and listens during the conversation. If they consistently interrupt you, dominate the conversation without allowing you to speak, or show disinterest in what you're saying, it may indicate a lack of genuine interest or respect.
3) Inconsistent or Dishonest Behavior.
If your date contradicts themselves, tells inconsistent stories, or seems to be dishonest about their personal life, it's a red flag. Trust is a vital foundation for any relationship, so early signs of dishonesty or inconsistency should be considered seriously.
4) Boundary Violations.
Pay attention to how your date respects your personal boundaries. If they push you to engage in activities you're uncomfortable with, invade your personal space without consent, or exhibit any behavior that makes you feel unsafe or violated, it's a significant red flag. Respect for boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships.
5) Lack of Emotional Availability.
If your date appears emotionally distant, avoids discussing deeper topics, or shows little empathy or interest in your emotions, it may be a sign that they are emotionally unavailable or not ready for a committed relationship. Emotional connection and support are essential aspects of healthy partnerships.
“It takes some practice to go back into the world and find your footing again.”
After all, here are some ideas for first dates:
1) Coffee or Tea.
Meeting for a coffee or tea allows for a relaxed and casual setting where you can chat and get to know each other better.
2) Outdoor Activity.
Consider going for a walk in a park, hiking, or visiting a botanical garden. Engaging in an outdoor activity allows for conversation and creates a more active and dynamic experience.
3) Museum or Art Gallery.
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
4) Cooking or Baking Together.
Plan a date where you can cook or bake a meal together. It allows for collaboration, laughter, and the chance to showcase your culinary skills.
5) Board Game or Game Night.
If you both enjoy games, organize a board game night or visit a board game café. It's a fun and interactive way to break the ice and enjoy each other's company.
6) Outdoor Picnic.
Pack a picnic and head to a scenic spot, such as a beach, park, or garden. It offers a relaxed and intimate setting to enjoy good food and conversation.
Remember, the most important aspect of a first date is to create an environment where you can connect, have meaningful conversations, and enjoy each other's company. Choose an activity that allows for genuine interaction and aligns with both of your interests.
From Episode 126 of Adulting with Joyce Pring: “Updated Rulebook of First Date Red Flags”