How to Prioritize Both Career and Relationship
How do we balance a marriage without losing our identities? What are the things we wish we knew in our early 20’s that could ‘maybe’ change our paths? On this episode, Cara Eriguel-Rabat and Joyce Pring discussed the ultimate adult-thing – marriage – and the lessons they learned in their early 20’s that they still carry to this day.
I am very career-oriented and having a difficult time to settle down, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
○ Wait it out until you really feel that it’s the right time. When you know, you know. Think about your priority, if it’s still your career maybe you’re not yet ready – but if you’re willing to let go of some things – that’s it. It’s always has to be having the same season with your partner.
○ Know God’s grace and have complete devotion to the one you agreed to marry. It’s mean that it’s not gonna be easy, it takes a lot of adjustments – but if your devotion outways whatever desires you used to have, it becomes better.
○ You can’t see a clear plan just yet but that’s the beauty in it. You can have this chance to grow and keep learning about yourself. It’s never ending, it’s always gonna be a process of getting better on finding the right fit for your life.
“I always joke this to my friends, ‘I never contemplated murder until I got married”
How to get over the ADJUSTMENT PHASE?
○ It’s okay to go to couple’s therapy. If things are getting out of hand or you find it hard to jive together. Joyce shared how having one helped them out with clashing with each other.
○ See every fight as a chance to get to know each other better. We learn a lot with each other every time we fight because at the end of the day, you’re both still living under the same roof now. Just always debrief and get better from there.
○ Try to evaluate yourself more. For Cara, it’s realizing the she’s needy and it was being unfair to her partner. So she worked on that and adjusted to make the relationship better.
○ You have to be a team. You can always have your own way of making it work as long as you’re on the same page and you respect each other. (CR)
○ You have to protect who you are. Then, figure out a way on how to merge that with your husband. And you also have to protect who he is. (JP)
○ TRUST. You have to trust yourself, your husband and each other. You don’t necessarily lose yourself in the process. You become a unit. (CR)
“You just have to settle with these things and be okay with the differences that you have. It’s always about weighing it.”
Adult-Things to Know Before 30 from Cara Eriguel
○ I don’t need to force someone to love me. There’s always a hole to be filled but someone is gonna love me regardless. I spent a lot of time finding myself and making mistakes along the way but made me realize that I don’t force someone to love me.
○ I should love me first. If I don’t love me first and love everything about me then how will somebody else love me? I found me and Pao also found me – me being myself.
○ Just let go. Just let go of what you can’t control. Technically, all we can really control in this world is ourselves. Just breathe and let go. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
○ Sometimes maybe it’s what you love but it’s not what’s meant for you. It’s not always linear.
Cara’s Best Decision in Her 20’s:
Getting to know myself better.
Be alone and hear my own thoughts.
Be kind to yourself.
“The beauty of being in you late 20’s and early 30’s is you have that kind of wisdom already. It’s all about responding well.”
From Episode 96 of Adulting with Joyce Pring: “PRIORITIZING BOTH CAREER & RELATIONSHIP”: